I walked away from him grieved. Why did he tell me to give away my riches and what did it mean?
If I gave away all I had, how would I live and survive? Still, he's been on my mind.
I know people have been saying different things, that he's a liar and a cheat but when he spoke to me, it was unlike anything l've felt in my life.
As I was walking away, I felt my heart break and I looked back at him. He had tears in his eyes. I stopped for a minute because it caught me by surprise.
I thought about what he had said as I looked at him and he looked at me with a love I had never seen, but the more I thought, the more I started to think about all my riches and how much I would have to leave.
I walked away as I started to cry. Why did it grieve me so much to see the tears in his eyes? I don't even know this man. I've only spoken to him one time.
As I went home, I couldn't shake the heaviness and I saw his face every time I closed my eyes. I've never known anything like this to torment my mind.
The days and weeks have gone by but the thoughts of him has never left my mind. Some nights it gets heavy, and I wonder about him. All I can do is cry.
What is this? I've never felt anything like it in my life. When I left him, nothing has been the same. Theres a new turmoil that fills my home each day and night.
My family and I are at odds, there is no happiness to find and I'm slowly losing those riches that I’ve been holding so tight. I don't understand why. I'm doing everything the same and was so blessed in my life.
I don't know where he is but I feel compelled to go to him again. Maybe I can at least ask him why everything has been in such wreck.
Maybe he caused it to be, but how could he? He's just a man, isn't he?
The thoughts of him have tormented my mind and I don't get any peace at night. He's in my dreams when I sleep, and on my mind when I rise.
I've started asking about him, seeing where he's been. I desperately want to see him.
Some reports came in that he had been to Golgotha, and l was making my journey there, but more reports came in that they had crucified him. Why?
I just wanted to talk to him, ask him questions and figure things out. He's gone now. Will my torment never end? Anymore, I don't know how to live.
It's been a few days and how confusing this grief is. I don't know why this man was different. I've never had a grief and longing like this.
I'm starting to understand the mistake I made when I said no and turned him away. Now there's no one to go to and no one to ease my pain.
I ran into a disciple today. They were excited about the man, but it was hard to understand. He's dead and has been in the grave for days.
But they told me that he had risen from the grave, that the disciples had seen him. They said he was alive and Thomas even touched his nail pierced hands.
I still don’t quite understand but I’ve never been the same since I left that man. I don’t understand how he could be risen from the dead but my heart yearns to know the man.
Maybe there is some hope for me, maybe I can stand if I hold to his nail pierced hands.
I turned him away a while ago, and I said no, but this time around I wonder what would happen if I choose to let go.
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